10/02/2010

Matters of the Heart.

I want to be married. That was kind of blunt, I know. Yet, it is the honest truth! Being a Christian "20-Something" who happens to be single is NOT easy! Most of the time it feels like a huge trail that, because of Christian culture, I am unable to openly express my feelings of frustration with the situation. I am so thankful for the friendships that God has developed in my life, yet I am frustrated with the fact that most of my dearest friends have now have found their somebody special! I can't seem to shake these feelings or thoughts. Then my thoughts go to God and my heart breaks even more. That I have spent so much of my life pinning for someone to share my life with, yet the one person who matters most is usually on the sidelines. It feels cliche to think that way. It is what everyone encourages me to do, which usually leaves me more frustrated in the end because it is ultimately impossible to on my own! He has to do that! {I feel drained even writing these thoughts and feelings.} With these things on my heart, God has started moving. I can sense it. Yet, I don't know where it is all leading. Is He preparing me for someone? Is He giving me strength to deal and continue to live with my singleness? Is He preparing me for a change in ministry or is he going to lead me into clarity on my future career plans? {I'm mind boggled} Well, my "life verse" has come to mind. It is Psalm 27:4. It is the prayer for my life! The Lord of Psalm 27 has way more to offer than any man walking on this earth today. And the best part, I am His and He has giving everything for me to be His! {I shiver as I think of this.}

Psalm 27

1The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

2When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

4 One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.

5For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

6And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8You have said, "Seek my face."My heart says to you,
"Your face, LORD, do I seek."

9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

13I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORDAlign Center in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

4 comments:

Glo said...

It's okay to feel the way you do. We are relational beings. It's how the Lord created us! I pray the Lord would grant you the desire of your heart. Until then, keep pressing and try to enjoy this season in your life. Consider it preparation for days to come. All things happen at the right/appointed time.

Lord be with you.

PS,

Chelsea said...

I'm 18 and not necessarily in this position, but this was encouraging to read!

Thanks for sharing your heart!

Esperanza said...

Dios te bendiga.
Entiendo algo de lo que escribes, no hable mucho inglés y oararé por ti.
Lo prometo.
Esperanza

hitaakademi said...

Ankara merkezli sıramatik sistemleri kurulum ve teknik destek hizmetleri
siramatik Türkiye'de hizmet ve faaliyetlerini sürdürmektedir.