i {heart} design

i {design} design.
It makes me happy to build something unique and original out of mental pictures vaguely created in my mind.
I designed this poster for an upcoming event at my church!


Matters of the Heart.

I want to be married. That was kind of blunt, I know. Yet, it is the honest truth! Being a Christian "20-Something" who happens to be single is NOT easy! Most of the time it feels like a huge trail that, because of Christian culture, I am unable to openly express my feelings of frustration with the situation. I am so thankful for the friendships that God has developed in my life, yet I am frustrated with the fact that most of my dearest friends have now have found their somebody special! I can't seem to shake these feelings or thoughts. Then my thoughts go to God and my heart breaks even more. That I have spent so much of my life pinning for someone to share my life with, yet the one person who matters most is usually on the sidelines. It feels cliche to think that way. It is what everyone encourages me to do, which usually leaves me more frustrated in the end because it is ultimately impossible to on my own! He has to do that! {I feel drained even writing these thoughts and feelings.} With these things on my heart, God has started moving. I can sense it. Yet, I don't know where it is all leading. Is He preparing me for someone? Is He giving me strength to deal and continue to live with my singleness? Is He preparing me for a change in ministry or is he going to lead me into clarity on my future career plans? {I'm mind boggled} Well, my "life verse" has come to mind. It is Psalm 27:4. It is the prayer for my life! The Lord of Psalm 27 has way more to offer than any man walking on this earth today. And the best part, I am His and He has giving everything for me to be His! {I shiver as I think of this.}

Psalm 27

1The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

2When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

4 One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.

5For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

6And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8You have said, "Seek my face."My heart says to you,
"Your face, LORD, do I seek."

9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

13I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORDAlign Center in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!


J & A's Engagement Photos

My roommate, A, asked me to take her engagement photos! I was so honored and a bit nervous; it was my first formal photo shoot. I was even more honored when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding! They both love God and it is so evident in their relationship; it will be exciting to see what things are done through these two amazing people!

A little love story...


Ending to Start yet Again...

The "Summer Specials" have ended and last night the Wednesday Night Youth Group had out Fall Kick-off! I am so excited to see what God is going to do in the hearts of the youth at First Free. I have one of those "something big is going to happen" feelings. Super exciting.

A little snap shot of what my summer looked like...


What's that noise?

Sometimes life seems like a broken record player; the same sorry sounds repeat over and over again. It scratches on the nerves, yet sings an uncanny melody. I’m being ambiguous, I know. I have been doing a lot of thinking about my personality type. I took the Meyers-Briggs at work. I had a four hour session with the HR director going over the ends and out of my personality type. I have spent countless more hours thinking about my personality type and how it applies to my life. I have laughed about it and I have cried about it. I am so thankful that God has given me my personality, yet there are aspects that I wish were not so. Those aspects are the ones that are the sorry sounds. I will now be working on tweaking the record play, so that it at least plays through the whole melody. How you might ask? I am going to start by praying, a lot. I am also going to stop myself being acting; analyze the situations I am in and review which move I should make next. Hopefully this will help!


My Updated Life!

Since I moved to Onalaska, WI in January, my life have been in constant transition. I finally feel like I am settling in to my new life! There have been a couple of additions and subtractions from my life.

Subtraction #1: A Certain Relationship
While in Ireland I met a boy from Wisconsin. I fell hard for him. Silly, I know! Well, needless to say (sense he is the subtractions category) that he is no longer a part of my in the a "romantic" sense. This is my second and deepest heart break experience. I know that this is God's will and honestly His mercy on my, which I am making a choice to praise Him for it!

Subtraction #2: My Independence
Moving back home is a HUGE transition. I love my family, but I love them even more when there is some distance between us! At times I think that an ocean is too vast, yet works very well to keep my sanity! On a serious note, I am learning a lot through this "subtraction" and I know that when all is said and done I will grow a lot through this.

Addition #1: A Bug
Yep, I got myself a little black bug. It has four wheels and and a really cute horn! It is the perfect time in my life to have my dream car!

Addition #2: My Church
I have found an amazing church family! Although I love my previous church family to bits and pieces, I am so thankful for my new church family. I feel very loved, excepted and challenged by them! We also were blessed with an amazing new Senior Pastor in April! His preaching has been such a source of growth in my life! God really loves me!

Addition #3: The Job
In April I was offered a position at the above Church. I am officially the "Youth Ministry Assistant". I love my job! I honestly never thought of youth ministry and I do not know if this is what God has for me long term, but I am enjoy it! I could not have asked for a better job, better employer, or better co-workers!

As challenging and stressful it is, life can be truly amazing! I can't think about what is waiting in eternity! Holy Cow, it's going to be awesome!


Breathless Moments...

There have been many of them over the last couple of months.
So many moments where the next breath seems distant.
While I take a breath, I prepare myself for the grasping of the next. They always come.
And time always moves on.
Then the breath, the moment of desire.
When the deep inhale of clarity is taken.
The eyes close.
The chest slowly sinks with the long and lingering exhale.
The breaths that follow seem sweet,
like the first kisses from the summer's sun after a bitter winter.
To breath again.
To be from under the rock of constant remembrance.
Of constant struggle.
To breath free.
To be free.