9/14/2009


LOVE Language #1: Words of Affirmation

Little bits that stood out to me:
Children who have grown in hearing different types of messages (positive vs. negative) will develop the same type of speech that conveys those messages. Basically, children who grow up in a home where communication was of a negative nature will have a very difficult time themselves speaking words of affirmation. Children who grow up in homes where communication was positive will have little trouble speaking words of affirmation.
People who have this as their primary LOVE language will be people who encourage others and those who affirm other people through their words. They will seek a lack of verbal affirmation as a lack of LOVE.

“Typically, our words are an overflow of what is going on in our hearts.”

“I refuse to allow the other’s behavior to destroy my life.” This is key to releasing a person from the wrong that they have done to you. You cannot forgive because that is a response to a confession, but you can accept and release a person of the wrong they have done to know. Knowing that you are not the judge, God is.

After confessing and seeking forgiveness when you have wronged someone also ask if there is anything that you can do to make up for the pain.

Different types of Affirmation

Encouragement “to inspire courage”
I know that there are times when all I need is someone to say, “Katie you can do this! I believe in you! Look how far you have already come!”

Praise “recognizing accomplishments”
I LOVE bring praised! It makes me feel good and makes me feel needed! Being told by someone you admire and respect that you did well at something that makes me feel like what I have achieved is even better.

Kindness “manner of speech”
The tone of your voice determines how something is perceived. For instance, saying “I LOVE you” can evoke positive or negative meaning depending on the way in which is it said. When I was growing up one of my grandmas rarely said, “I love you”. When she did always tried to catch how she said it to see if I could tell if she really meant it. I always thought there was an edge to her voice that lacked sincerity.

How to Give Affirming Words?

# 1: Start where you are! Summarize you life and relationships {I am currently abroad and single. All of my most meaningful relationships are currently long distance. I have a great relationship with my mom where affirming words are spoken. I have a relationship with my dad that is very high stressed. He has done many things in my past that have caused a great deal of hurt. He does use affirming words; however I do not use them towards him. My brother and I have a very stressed relationship. We do not say affirming words to one another. I am not working, but I am taking classes. I do not say many affirming words to my classmates. I feel like I affirm those who I love and who have not caused me a great deal of hurt. I have a hard time affirming with words people who I do not know and people who have hurt me.}
# 2: Be Active, not Passive“The choice to love is active. It is doing something for someone else’s benefit. The example the Gary used is that you should create a list of all those people who are in your life that you mentioned during the summarizing of your life and relationships. Then write things that you can say to them that will affirm them…My mom… She is a great mom who has given a lot of herself. She is always supportive. She has done so much work to make her house a home and I am proud of her for that.My dad…He has given me a lot of things that have made my life easier (my car, paying for my health and care insurance and money for school), I have enjoyed a lot of times we have spent together (fishing at the lake and Boscobel, and it means a lot to me that he always tells me that he is proud of me and my accomplishments (he calls me his shining star).Matt…I am proud that he is in the military and he I serving this country, he has always been a loyal friend, he and I have been spending more time together and I have been enjoying him company, and I really appreciated when he called me up to have dinner with him.
#3: Choose a StrategyFigure. Figure out a way according to your current life situation that you can express love by words of affirmation to the people listed. For my mom during our phone conversations words of affirmation come naturally, but at the end of each one when I tell her, “I love you” I will also include an example of something she has done for me. So, as I think of these things or as she does them and I can add them to the list above. For my dad I will send him a special update email each week and I will mention that I miss and I am thankful for him because of ______. For my brother, who I do not talk to often I will start off by just saying I love you and gradually add more (this is because we do not even say I LOVE you to one another. For Matt I am going to start broad. Saying, “thanks for being a great brother” and then slowly add in specifics on why I think he is a great brother.

9/13/2009

Romans 8:28




LOVE is one of the first deep concepts a child can comprehend. As I child I knew who LOVED me and who didn’t. I could sense it; feel it. Back when I was a child LOVE seemed to be very elementary. As I grew and the people who “LOVED” me did things that deeply hurt me the elementary concept of LOVE flew out the window. How could someone who claims to LOVE you hurt you? That is where my whole issue of LOVE started. I was hurt deeply by people who claimed they LOVED me and they continue to hurt me even though the still claim they LOVE me. God’s LOVE has been a constant reminder of what pure LOVE is, yet I find myself struggling trying to make his LOVE tangible to me. I do know that I am LOVED by God and I do see evidence of this in my life. Therefore I am starting out on my Learning of LOVE journey. I am going to be reading and blogging my way through Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition”. I am going to spend the wonderfully quite evening learning and reflecting on the first LOVE language! I will hopefully be able to formulate my thoughts into a blog by tomorrow!

Please Papa


Papa, I am sensing you in my life again.
Our little talks have started again; Worshiping and Praising you for the little things.
Reunions are bitter sweet.
They are full of goodness, yet an edge of sadness.
It means that I have been away.
Hold me near papa; please do not let me go away again!
Make this reunion forever.
Make this joy continually swell in my heart.
Make me bow down before you.
Make me thirst after you.
Please papa, have me love you above all else.

9/12/2009

I {heart} Lush


I was introduced to Lush when I was on a visit to Chicago! This line of "fresh handmade cosmetics" is something that I am going to enjoy for the rest of my life! In Wisconsin there is only 1 store, which is in Milwaukee. There are several in the Chicago area! You can also order online! I did not add a photo, but I have started to use thier shampoo bars! My hair is insainly soft and still very full!

I bought a bar of citrusy soap last spring when I was visiting Chicago. It smells amazing, does wonders for the skin and last a long time! Nothing is better than that!


In the US they call these bath bombs (this photo was taken of the UK site). You place one in the bath water! It is great for the skin and it smells amazing! They also have shower bombs, which is what I use, and it truly gives you an amazing bathing experience!

eyes



gaze upon many wonders in distant lands

spy on those that walk across their path

display love, playfulness, anger, joy, sorrow…my soul

ache with weariness commencing hours of study

close to craft a moment of euphoric escape from unhappiness

lock into memory cherished moments

9/06/2009

Band Aids and Sea Monsters

What do you say to those in pain? Everything seems…not right. I desire that one really good liner that will be the healing ointment; the band aid that fixes everything. Yet, as I search my soul I come up empty. Trying to stop the brain from wondering to the “what if’s” of life. It is a sick sick disease; craving something that will never be. Accepting life as it is would be best. Yet, acceptance is a fickle thing. Sometimes it is a breeze. Other times it is a treacherous ocean full of scary sea monsters. Asking someone to accept something seems so wrong. Almost like it would be tactless to do so, yet isn’t that the band aid that will bring healing to a scare. “It” will always be carried with them, but it does not have to cause them pain anymore. It is itch when the rain is on its way (funny how makes things like that happen).

To those whom are in pain:

I am right there with you. I feel pain too. “What if’s” do not heal. They bring pain. Try to focus on now. Accepting today for today; knowing life is a blink of the eye. Hold on to those you love. Try to love them more every day. Keep praying. And don’t give up!

Your shipmate, Katie

8/29/2009

Pondering Tears

When things are going on in my life I try to run away from them. I am not sure where I try to run, some places for me are to my mom, my art and food. Many things cause me to try to run. Feeling guilty over hurt that I may have caused other people. Being hurt by another person. Not having my expectations met and becoming hurt or upset over that (my mom likes to remind me that I have too many expectations in life and I will always be hurt if I continue to live my life like that). I run from many other things. I just do not like to touch some of those icky subjects that fill my life.

The really sad thing about this is that I do not run to God. It is the first thing I tell people who are at on of those icky places, "run to him and cry out to him". I don't do it myself. I am the hypocrite who found fault with other hypocrites. I haven't been running to God because I have been running away from him. This last year I have been seeing sides of God that make me wearisome of who he is and if I can trust him. I simply do not love God the way I should and I am not sure if I want to put my faith in God. I have had several people tell me that they also do not love God the way they should, so to them it is okay because no one can really love God the way they should. That isn't good enough for me. Why worship the God of the universe when you are always struggling, having no rest, about if you have any love for God. I do not obey him either. My wants have been more important than even thinking or considering what God would want. I put on a good show. I know just what to say when I am around Christians and they start to ask about my life. I walk away from those conversations feeling like I need to take a shower. I am telling people who truly love me (and I feel like I truly love them) half truths about who I am and what I stand for.

I don't know the answers. I realize that without the hope of Christ and his promises I have no idea how I am going to make it. Every time life gets hard I crave Jesus. What does this mean? Do I love him? Do I just know that this is where my heart needs to be?

As I write this I listen to the sermon given by John Swanson the Sunday after Patience was found at the bottom of a pool. Through my tears I am trying to discover the truths of God.

Lord,
Help me seek you.
Katie

7/22/2009

One Month and Counting...


I will keeping a daily (or whenever I can) blog of my time in Northern Ireland. I will still blog on this site mainly in regards to my personal life, but I am sure some of the things will overlap. Enjoy.

Click the Title of post to go to On the Green Isle.

7/18/2009

A Whole Lot of History

Over the 4th I went visited a friend, Kendall, who I studied abroad with in Ghana in the fall of 2007. I flew into NC and we drove to DC and to NYC. It was a crazy couple of days, but it was so nice to see a great friend again.